S.A.L.T. - Monday

          Towards the beginning of Parashat Ki-Teitzei, the Torah presents the law of the "ben sorer u-moreh," the wayward son, whom the parents bring before the local Beit-Din for execution (21:18-21). The Gemara in Masekhet Sanhedrin (71a) reports that (at least according to one view) there has never been an actual case of a ben sorer u-moreh. So many specific conditions must be met for the law to be implemented, that the likelihood of such a situation arising is virtually non-existent. Why, then, did the Torah bother presenting such a case if it can never occur?  The Gemara raises this question and replies, "Derosh ve-kabeil sekhar" – the material is presented for us to study and thereby earn reward. But as many commentators note, clearly there must be some general lesson latent within the institution of ben sorer u-moreh that we are to study. Clearly the Torah would not have created a purely theoretical halakha only to add more study material to the corpus of Jewish law. So what is the critical lesson of the ben sorer u-more on account of which the Torah mentions it, despite the impossibility of its practical application?

         Rabbenu Bechayei writes that the theoretical halakha of ben sorer u-moreh demonstrates the extent to which the love of, and commitment to, God must extend. The halakha of ben sorer u-moreh requires parents to bring their own son to the court for execution – such that their devotion to God supersedes even their love for their own child.

         It turns out that according to Rabbenu Bechayei, the halakha of ben sorer u-moreh resembles the story of akeidat Yitzchak. God does not wish for people to sacrifice their children, but our devotion to Him must reach the point where we would be prepared to take even this drastic measure in fulfillment of the divine will.

         The Keli Yakar suggests a different approach, claiming that this halakha reflects the nature of God's paternal relationship with His people. The familiar image of God as our loving Father may give the erroneous impression that He will constantly forgive and overlook our mistakes, regardless of their gravity. The halakah of ben sorer u-moreh teaches that even parental love has its limits, and so as loving a Father the Almighty is, at times it becomes necessary for Him to punish us harshly for our wrongdoing.

         Rav Shimshon Refael Hirsch explains that the halakha of the ben sorer u-moreh provides numerous points of instruction regarding the art of parenting. Rav Hirsch claims that the conditions imposed on the implementation of this halakha are meant to establish the absence of any factors related to upbringing to which we can attribute the child's delinquency. For example, halakha requires that both parents come before the court and claim that the child does not listen to them. Meaning, the child is executed only if both parents made an effort to correct his behavior. According to Rav Hirsch, this shows that differing educational attitudes between parents can often result in a child's confusion and misdirection. If only one parent approaches the educational process of child-rearing seriously, then the child is likely to interpret the silent parent's passivity as an expression of apathy – which can easily lead to a rejection of his parents' values. The court does not execute the child unless it is clear that this disparity between father and mother did not contribute to his misconduct, and that we can blame only his intrinsic nature for his wayward tendencies. This also explains another seemingly peculiar condition – that the two parents must physically resemble one another. Rav Hirsch suggests that here, too, the Torah points to the need for a consistent educational message transmitted from both parents equally – a consistency symbolically represented in the halakha by the requirement of physical resemblance.

         Furthermore, as Rav Hirsch notes, the Torah describes the ben sorer u-moreh as a child who not only disobeys his parents, but who also gluttonously indulges in meat and wine (see 21:20). Why does this quality in particular contribute to the child's attainment of the status of "ben sorer u-moreh"?  Rav Hirsch explains that the Torah here warns parents against disproportionate emphasis in the home on food and drink. Parents must concern themselves with much more than the quality and quantity of the food their children eat; they must pay far more attention to the values to which children are exposed and the ideals by which they learn to live their lives. The Torah's illustration of the wayward son shows that extensive preoccupation with food steers one away from spirituality and values, and contributes to the degenerative process which culminates in the emergence of a ben sorer u-moreh.

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