Orphans and Widows - Sensitivity and Care for the Vulnerable
Bein Adam Le-chavero: Ethics of Interpersonal Conduct
By Rav Binyamin Zimmerman
Shiur #07: Orphans and
Widows Sensitivity and Care for the Vulnerable
Heightened Prohibitions of Onaa
In last weeks lesson, we saw the unique laws of
onaa, the prohibition of causing pain to others in non-physical ways. We explained that the underlying
connection between the various forms of onaa (as related to issues of
mamon, money, and devarim, words) is the attempt to take advantage of
anothers weakness and exploiting anothers vulnerability.
Generally, onaat devarim includes practical
jokes, misinformation, pointing others in the wrong direction and the like
taking advantage of those who are unable to hold their own in specific
circumstances. However, a number of the
examples in the Talmud relate to those who are more prone to be vulnerable to
others abuses. For instance, the
Talmud prohibits reminding people who are trying to put their pasts behind them,
particularly penitents and converts, of their less-than-spotless records.
The Talmud also makes note of other individuals who
are in a constant state of vulnerability and therefore must be treated with
extra care. The source for a
specific focus on the onaa of the weak is reflected in the Torahs
singling out of specific individuals who, due to their unfortunate circumstances
often feel helpless and depressed, unable to demand or defend their rights. The Torah prohibits afflicting them
while simultaneously requiring that they receive preferential kindness. The Torah doesnt stop with a
prohibition; it goes on to express the utter disdain that God has for those who
violate it and the harshness which will be displayed against perpetrators of
this conduct. This message is clear:
not only is it forbidden, but it will not be tolerated in any manner.
To better understand the prohibition and the unique
outlook the Torah strives to impress upon us, let us take a deeper look.
Women, Spouses and Family Members
Beyond the general context of onaa, there is
special attention given to individuals who may be particularly vulnerable. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 59a)
emphasizes the specific care one must take towards ones wife:
A person must always exercise care with regard to
the onaa of his wife, for since her tears are common, her onaa is
common.
The Talmud
here appears to acknowledge the particular emotional sensitivity of women, and
it therefore urges husbands to exercise extreme care in speaking to their wives.
Women's emotional vulnerability, coupled with the ongoing contact and
communication between husband and wife, renders the context of marriage
particularly susceptible to onaa, and the Talmud therefore issues a
specific warning to husbands in this regard.
Rav Avraham Pam is quoted as pointing out that some
people are prone to speaking kindly and courteously to everyone except for their
own family members. The Talmud wants to teach us that it is specifically in the
home where one must work extra hard to ensure one behaves with the same
sensitivity that one displays toward strangers.
One may also understand that although the Talmud
singles out a wife, this rule would be applicable to spouses in general, even a
wife speaking to a husband. The
ideal relationship of spouses makes them the closest confidantes and friends. While the Talmud specifically
speaks of ones wife, every spouse is uniquely vulnerable to being hurt by the
others insensitivity. The reliance
that a spouse has on his or her mate makes avoiding onaa all the more
significant, but also much more difficult. Thus,
it requires much care and concern.
The general prohibition of onaa, which is
aimed at all of society, requires developing sensitivities, especially as
regards the weak points of other individuals.
One must learn how to ensure that one doesnt act insensitively and hurt
anothers feelings. While this
general prohibition would be sufficient to forbid mistreating anyone, including
those who are more easily hurt, the Torah goes out of its way in numerous places
to require heightened sensitivity for the individuals who are in a constant
state of uneasiness due to their plights.
Numerous times the Torah mentions the converts, widows, and orphans; it
seeks to educate every individual to the importance of caring for the
underprivileged and certainly not aggrieving them. These individuals are often looked
down upon, so the Torah stresses its disdain for this form of behavior.
The Torah warns us twelve times to have special
consideration towards the orphan (yatom) and the widow (almana).
The first such commandment is followed directly by a description of the
consequences for society in its entirety if the command is violated.
Do not take advantage of any widow or orphan.
If you take advantage and they cry out to
me, I will certainly hear their cry. My
anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will
become widows and your children orphans. (Shemot
22:21-23)
Rav S.R.
Hirsch (ad loc.) explains the term take advantage as to make someone feel his
dependent position, to exploit his weakness and lack of protection, similar to
his explanation of onaat devarim (see previous lesson).
While the Torah makes specific mention of the widow
and the orphan, the Mekhilta, cited by Rashi, explains that all unfortunate
individuals are included in the prohibition.
This is the law for all people.
Here the text speaks to the present
reality, for these are not particularly strong, and it is common to find them
afflicted. However, it applies to all who
are bereft of their human protectors and destitute of the physical force to
defend their rights.
While the
Rambam (Hilkhot Deot 6:10) seems to focus his understanding of the verse
specifically on the widow and the orphan, he also explains that the reason the
Torah singles these individuals out is due to their sensitive situation.
A person is obligated to show great care for orphans
and widows because their spirits are very low and their feelings are depressed
How should one deal with them?
One should only speak to them gently and
only treat them with honor. One should not cause pain to their persons with work
or aggravate their feelings with harsh words; one must show more consideration
for their financial interests than for one's own. Anyone who vexes or angers
them, hurts their feelings, oppresses them or causes them financial loss
transgresses this prohibition. Surely,
this applies if one beats them or curses them.
The
aforementioned verses are quite explicit about the unusual harshness that will
be meted out to one who mistreats a widow or orphan.
Widows and orphans are generally the most
vulnerable members of society, having no husbands or fathers to defend them. God therefore declares that He will
fill this role. If a widow or orphan
is mistreated, God will respond as one would when a member of his own family is
abused, with anger and vengeance. As the Rambam continues:
Even though a violator is not liable to receive
lashes, the retribution he will suffer is explicitly stated in the Torah: "My
anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword."
There is a covenant between them and He
Who spoke and created the world whenever they cry out because they have been
wronged, they will be answered, as it is stated: "If you take advantage and they
cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry."
Defining the Widow and the Orphan
One might assume that the Torahs specific concern
for the widow and orphan should be limited to those who have no means of
support, limiting the definition to those orphaned of both parents or those
widows who are left poor, without any means of support. The Rambam tells us otherwise. As Rav Hirsch explains, the verse
specifies any widow, for not only poor widows and orphans, but even rich
ones, are exposed to exploitation and maltreatment.
Regarding the financial situation of the widow or
orphan, the Rambam (ibid.) writes:
A person is obligated to show great care for orphans
and widows because their spirits are very low and their feelings are depressed
This applies even if they are wealthy. We
are commanded to do so even for a king's widow and his orphans, as it is stated,
Do not take advantage of any widow or orphan.
Regarding the
inclusive definition of one orphaned of either parent, he writes:
This applies to those orphaned either from their
father or their mother. Until when
are they considered orphans in this context? Until
they no longer need a mature individual to support, instruct and care for them
and they are able to see to all their own needs by themselves, like other
adults.
Rav Hirsch
explains that the Torahs terms yatom and almana expresses
their condition:
Almana comes from
the term for mute, and yatom is related to roots which mean to mutilate
or cut off. The widow has lost her mouth
along with her husband, having nobody to speak for her any longer.
The orphan
has been cut off from
protection.
Understanding the Verses
Further analysis of the verses in Shemot
reveals a number of difficulties regarding the simple understanding. The Torah introduces the prohibition
in the plural, and then it immediately turns to the singular. In the next verse, it returns to the
plural. Whom is the Torah
addressing? Why is the audience
constant changing?
The Mekhilta makes note of the changing terminology
in the verses and also comments on the double conjugation of the verb to take
advantage. The latter is initially
expounded whether a grievous affliction or a trivial one, followed by a second
opinion that the doubling teaches us that one is not culpable until he takes
advantage once and then repeats his offense.
The Ibn Ezra explains that the verse uses this style
in order to indicate that the prohibition includes not only active violators,
but anyone who stands idly by.
The text first states: Do not take advantage, in
the plural, and then switches to If you take advantage. Whoever sees a person afflicting an
orphan or widow and does not succor them, he also is counted as an afflicter. Now the punishment meted out when one
is guilty of afflicting and no one intervenes applies to all; for this reason,
the text continues: My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the
sword all of you.
The
implications of the Ibn Ezras understanding are frightening. It is insufficient to prevent oneself
from hurting others; even standing by without protest is included in the
prohibition. Here the obligation to
care for the weaker strata of society is magnified; avoiding hurting their
feelings is not sufficient. One must do
all he can to prevent their abuse, lest his passive standing will make him an
accessory to the crime. By allowing
iniquity and injustice to prosper, the Torah maintains, he makes himself an
accomplice.
Rav Hirsch
continues with an explanation of the rationale:
In most countries, aliens are discriminated against
and deprived of their rights by law.
For this reason, the previous verse, speaking of converts, is phrased in the
singular, warning the Jewish state to shun this practice. By contrast, it is hard to find a
legal system that discriminates against widows and orphans. However, in social relations and
gatherings, they have no one to stand up for them, to support them, to guide
them; and so, they are subject to discrimination and humiliation. Hence, in their case, the Torah
addresses society as a whole, warning it not to exploit them or make them feel
the weakness of their predicament.
Thus, the
vulnerable are not discriminated against by law as much as by people in the
community, often the most powerful individuals.
God does not want to be the only protector of the weak; He wants man to
do the same.
Why the Severity?
As the Torah stresses, God will personally punish
anyone who mistreats the vulnerable members of society. We must then ask the following
question: what is so severe about poking fun at the desperate that deserves such
harshness?
The Chinnukh (Mitzva 338) points out that although
there are no lashes for the violation of onaat devarim, God has
many other means which He employs to punish those who afflict others. The Peleh Yoetz (Onaa) advises
that in order to ensure that one doesnt hurt anothers feelings, one should
always think what would annoy him or her and refrain from doing it to others. Understanding that even a small thing
may cause untold pain to another should be sufficient to remind everyone to be
very cautious in all their actions.
The Maharal (Netivot Olam, Ahavat Reia)
explains the rationale behind Gods harsh reaction to onaat devarim. Unlike physical abuse which hurts
ones body, the pain caused by onaa goes straight to ones nefesh
(soul). God shows extra concern for
the nefesh of His people and therefore treats the affliction of the soul
with the severity that the verses describe.
Rav Baruch Simon (Imrei Baruch, Shemot p.
139) takes these ideas one step further and explains that one who afflicts
widows and orphans is rebelling against God, who describes Himself as (Tehillim
68:6) the father of orphans and the judge of widows. By the same token, God takes
particular interest in all vulnerable individuals and views any attack against
the weak as an affront and rebellion against the Kingship of Heaven.
The Cry and the Punishment
The understanding of the reasons for the severity of
the prohibition will also help us understand another difficulty with the text. The middle verse seems to be
thematically incomplete. Literally, it
read:
If you take advantage, for (ki) if they cry
out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.
Rashi
explains:
This is an elliptical phrase which leaves the
penalty and consequence understood
It is
as if it were to say: you will suffer in the end.
Why? For they will surely
cry out to me.
The Beer
Yitzchak (quoted by Nechama Leibowitz, Iyunim, p. 393) explains Rashis
comment that the Torah is using the language of the man in the street. The Torah wishes to emphasize the
gravity of hurting the weak and defenseless.
The pity and indignation aroused by that scene is too difficult to be
expressed in words; therefore, the Torah does not complete the sentence.
The Ramban argues with Rashi and explains that the
verse isnt an incomplete sentence; rather, it is intended to teach us that
Gods intervention will come immediately in response to a situation which brings
a victim to cry out, without any need to wait.
The word ki implies that if you afflict
him, he has only to cry out to me, and I will immediately hear his cry. He stands in need of nothing else;
because I will save him and exact vengeance for him from the persecutor. You oppress him because he has no
defender, but in reality he will be helped more than any other person. For though other people go to great
lengths to find champions to exact vengeance, these often arent helpful. But this one his very cry will be
saved by God, and He will take vengeance from you, for God avenges wrong and
scourges the guilty with His wrath.
Gods
vengeance is described in the verses as expressing itself with a difficult
punishment.
My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with
the sword; your wives will become widows and your children orphans.
Rashi explains
that the verse contains more than one punishment:
From the implication of what is said and I
will kill you do I not know that your wives will be widows and your children
orphans? Rather, this is another
curse, namely that the wives will be bound in living widowhood; there will be no
witnesses to their husbands deaths, and thus they will be forbidden to remarry. The children will be orphans because
the court will not allow them to have their fathers property, since they do not
know whether they died or were captured.
The Ramban
points out that despite the Torahs explicit mention of a punishment of death
for one who afflicts these vulnerable individuals, it is still not mentioned in
the exhaustive list of acts for which one receives death at the hands of the
Heavenly Court (listed in Sanhedrin 83a).
He explains that the verse differentiates this death for here the death
is not like other deaths by the hand of Heaven; rather, the individual will be
killed by the sword in battle, and his wife and children will not know and will
become widows and orphans.
The Power of a Cry
The Meshekh Chokhma explains this slightly
differently. This death is not
similar to other cases of divine capital punishment, and it is therefore not
listed with them.
Here it states: For if they cry out to me only
if the victim cries out will the offender be punished, but if the former doesnt
cry out
the latter will only receive a punishment, but not death by the sword.
The Meshekh
Chokhma goes on to explain that it is actually dangerous to scream out to God
against another, as the Talmud (Bava Kama 93a) states that one who
invokes the wrath of Heaven may expect to be punished for his or her own sins
first. Therefore, it is ideal that the
victim not seek that God punish the oppressor with death.
The idea of God hearing the pain of those who have
been mistreated and the severe punishments He will inflict upon hearing the cry
of the troubled is not a new idea.
The destruction of Sedom occurs after God comes to hear the cry of the city (Bereishit
18:21), and the brothers of Yosef (ibid. 42:21) fear that their own
misfortunes are recompense for their failure to respond to their brothers
cries:
They said to one another, Indeed we are guilty
concerning our brother inasmuch as we saw his heartfelt anguish when he pleaded
with us and we paid no heed; that is why this anguish has come upon us.
Rav Hirsch
explains how intent God is on hearing and acting on the cry of the one who is
wronged and has no one else to turn to.
He explains that the verse warns both leaders and the public.
Woe to you, state leaders, if the state as well
ill-treats them and makes them feel the pain of having lost their defenders and
supporters. Woe to the state whose
widows and orphans suffer among the people, where even the official public
representatives do not stand up for them and uphold their rights
Woe to you if their only resort is to cry
out to Me; for I will surely hear their cry; I will make the state and the
society pay dearly for it, if their weakest members must appeal to Me to find
justice.
The Implications
The implications of this mitzva obviously require
that one refrain from hurting others feelings, especially those of widows and
orphans, family members and other vulnerable individuals. The Ibn Ezra points out that one is
also held accountable for failing to react and come to the rescue of those who
are discriminated against.
Therefore, avoiding the prohibition of onaat devarim also requires that
one who sees a situation of injustice, especially one in which orphans, widows
or any others unable to protect themselves are being victimized, must get
involved. This would seem to
indicate an obligation to take action on the behalf of a woman refused a divorce
and others subjected to abuse.
Rav Hirschs description of the societal focus of
the verses also must lead us to ask if we have created a society of justice
which serves to ensure that the underprivileged are taken care of. Understanding the Torahs concern for
the underprivileged should reframe our state of mind.
It is insufficient to merely provide
financially for the poor; one must try to boost their spirits, to give life to
their nefesh.
In truth, cries come in many different forms. HaRav Yehuda Amital founded Yeshivat
Har Etzion with the message of the need to hear the cry of the infant (Jewish
Values in a Changing World, p. 157), which he interprets thusly:
It is important that in every society and in every
family there be those who feel that the burden of society or the family rests
upon their shoulders, and as a result they will initiate and organize activities
on behalf of the community. Various obligations fall upon the community, both
interpersonal matters and matters between man and God. In order for these
obligations to be fulfilled, individuals must step forward and assume the
responsibility of seeing that they are executed. It is a bad sign for any
association of people if none of its members are willing to assume this role.
Simultaneously, the mitzva seems to increase our sensitivity to others needs,
to care for those who are suffering from depression or just plain vulnerable. If one realizes that he or she has
said something hurtful to another, even unintentionally, the speaker must try to
placate the sufferer, for it is the victim who determines whether speech (or
action) has been harmful or not.
By paying attention to the plight of others who are
less fortunate, one not only recognizes Judaisms care for the underdog; one may
come to recognize a certain closeness of those in pain to the Almighty
but in his loneliness, he met the Lonely
One (Rav Soloveitchik, The Lonely Man of Faith, XI).
Modeling Ourselves after God
One of the fundamental
principles of Jewish ethics is Ve-halakhta bi-drakhav (see Year 1,
Lesson 4), modeling our behavior after that of God. God takes specific care to help the
underprivileged and listens to their calls.
This idea is expressed in the verse in Yeshayahu (57:15), "I dwell
on high, in holiness, yet with the despondent and lowly of spirit, to revive the
spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the despondent." A similar verse in Tehillim
(34:19) declares, "God is close to the brokenhearted, and He brings salvation to
the despondent of spirit."
Whereas our instinct is
to look upon the poorest citizens as the least important and valuable members of
society, the Torah admonishes us to do just the opposite, to relate to them with
honor and distinction. The Almighty
"dwells," as it were, among the "lowly of spirit," the disadvantaged members of
society.
One finds that a mention
of Gods greatness is always coupled with a description of His care for the
underprivileged. The Talmud in Megilla (31a) states:
In every place that you
find Gods greatness, you also find His humility.
This idea is found in the Torah and reiterated in Neviim and again
in Ketuvim. It is written in
the Torah (Devarim 10:17) For Lord your God is the God of gods and Lord
of lords, the great and mighty and awesome God Who shows no favor and takes no
bribe. The next verse continues, He does justice to the orphan and widow and
loves the stranger, providing him food and clothing
The Talmud
continues to quote verses, such as the one in Yeshayahu, which reiterate
this point. Any verse proclaiming
the greatness of God also makes mention of His providing for the needy and
vulnerable. One who wishes to follow
in the footsteps of Gods greatness must also realize that an element of His
greatness is His commitment to the needy of society, not only physically, but
emotionally as well. The
prohibitions of onaa, specifically the verses which make special note of
the vulnerable, are to teach us to mold our behavior after Gods true greatness.
By doing so, we can also achieve true happiness (see
Year 1, Lesson 20) as the Rambam describes the ultimate joy that one may achieve
on Purim
(Hilkhot Megilla 2:17):
Indeed, there is no
greater and more splendid happiness than to gladden the hearts of the poor, the
orphans, the widows and the converts.
One who brings happiness
to the hearts of these unfortunate individuals imitates the Divine Presence, of
which it is stated: To revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart
of the despondent.
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