Mourning On Shabbat And Yom Tov

There is a fundamental difference between the rules of mourning on Shabbat and Yom Tov.  The Talmud explains, "Shabbat counts and doesn't interrupt; Yom Tov interrupts and doesn't count," (Mo'ed Katan 19a.)  That is, Shabbat is considered itself to be a day of mourning, and therefore is included in the count of seven or thirty days; therefore, the count continues as before.  But Yom Tov interrupts mourning; if Yom Tov occurs in the middle of the shiv'a, then the shiv'a ceases altogether.

 

The key to understanding this difference is the Talmudic statement which explains why Yom Tov terminates mourning: "The commandment of the community [to rejoice] comes and cancels out the commandment of the individual [to mourn]" (Mo'ed Katan 14b.)  While both Shabbat and Yom Tov are days of rejoicing and delight, the special character of Yom Tov is that its rejoicing has a public character.  Here are some examples:

 

• While Shabbat occurs automatically each week, Yom Tov only occurs when the month is sanctified by the Beit Din - the representative of the community.
• Yom Tov, more than Shabbat, is characterized by honor – which is a public concept.  For this reason, Yom Tov clothes should be more elegant than Shabbat ones (SA OC 529:1.)
• The particular delights of Yom Tov, for which cooking is permitted, are those which are "equal for everybody" (Ketubot 7a.)
• On Yom Tov, more than on Shabbat, giving charity – which is a communal act – is an essential part of the holiday  (Rambam Yom Tov 6:18, Zohar Yitro II:88b.  See chapter 98 for additional examples and elaboration.)
• On Yom Tov there is a mitzva to go to Yerushalaim – the place of national unity and community.

 

Since the essence of Yom Tov is communal joy, it supersedes the mitzva of mourning - which is all about private sorrow and isolation.  But Shabbat is focused more on private enjoyments.  So while mourning is limited on Shabbat, to permit these enjoyments; private observations of mourning are permitted, and these are enough to maintain the continuity of mourning.

 

THE SOLACE OF WEEPING

 

Here is a complementary explanation.  Normally, a person should not cry on Shabbat, which is a day of rejoicing.  Yet sometimes the solace of weeping is itself a kind of joy.  Therefore, it is permitted to weep on Shabbat to relieve one's sorrow (Rema OC 288:2.)  This halakha is not mentioned regarding Yom Tov.

 

This is a corollary of the previous idea; weeping contradicts the public character of a holiday, but for this particular individual it is a source of solace.

 

For this reason mourning - though in public a sign of sorrow yet may be of private solace – and thus is permitted on Shabbat but not on Yom Tov.

 

 

CHAPTER 220 – HOLIDAYS TRUNCATE SEVEN-DAY AND THIRTY-DAY MOURNING PERIODS

 

The basic idea of holidays truncating the mourning period was explained last chapter.  The festivals are a time of public, communal rejoicing; this is a complete contradiction to the private isolation of the mourner, and so his mourning, whether of seven or of thirty days, is interrupted.

 

There are still two nuances that require explanation: the influence on the thirty-day mourning period, and the fact that Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur count as festivals.

 

COUNTING THE THIRTY DAYS

 

When a festival occurs during the seven-day mourning period, the counting is affected in two ways.

 

First of all, even though the seven-day period is truncated, the period during which the primary mourning took place is still counted as seven days.  So that if the departed was buried the day prior to a festival and mourning took place for one day only, that one day is counted as seven days, and twenty-three days remain in the count.

 

This teaches that the "thirty-day" period is more accurately viewed as two periods - one period of primary mourning, which is usually seven days but may be truncated by a festival; and a second period of secondary mourning, which is usually twenty-three days.  Each stage has its own individual importance and its own count.

 

Secondly, the festival counts as seven days of the remaining twenty-three days even if it is a one-day festival.  So that if a person begins mourning the day before Sukkot, then the one day of primary mourning counts as seven; the seven-day Sukkot holiday counts as an additional seven, leaving sixteen; and Shemini Atzeret counts as another seven, leaving only nine days.  The entire thirty-day period is in fact only sixteen days.

 

In a way this rule is parallel to the rule we learned in chapter 213, that the period a widower has to wait to remarry is three holidays, irrespective of the amount of time.  The reason is that the man is acutely aware of his departed wife's absence during holidays, which are a time of family togetherness.

 

By the same token, the amount of adjustment that takes place to a relative's absence during a holiday is much greater than the adjustment that takes place during a regular day.  During a time of family togetherness, the absence is so conspicuous that one day of absence during a festival has the impact of a full week.

 

THE DAYS OF AWE

 

Although we relate to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur primarily as days of judgment, they too truncate the periods of mourning.  These days also, despite their awe, are days of happiness – joy that we have the opportunity for judgment and to confront our sins, and joy in the confidence that we will successfully repent and thus merit a favorable judgment. 

 

This happiness is particularly acute for a mourner, since mourning itself can be a time of sterner judgment – a time when the family of the departed consider themselves singled out for judgment, as we explained in chapter 215.  So it is a relief for them to join the common judgment of the entire community.

 

 

CHAPTER 221 – OBSERVING THE YAHRZEIT, THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DEATH

 

It is an ancient custom that the anniversary of the death of a parent is observed as a day of partial mourning, when the child fasts, says kaddish, and lights a memorial candle (Rema end of YD 402, Beit Yosef end of YD 403.)  This practice is considered an "ilui neshama," an elevation of the soul of the departed.

 

The Talmud mentions this idea of a continued elevation of the soul: "Torah scholars find no rest either in this world or in the World to Come, as it is said: (Tehillim 84:8) They will go from strength to strength, to appear before God in Zion" (Berakhot 64a.)  The souls of Torah scholars continue to ascend even after they depart this world.  Indeed we sometimes say that a departed Torah scholar has gone to "the supernal Yeshiva," because the next world is conceived as a Torah academy, where the secrets of God's will continue to be revealed to those who began to study them in this world.

 

This continued elevation is possible because a person's acts can not be completely judged at the time when he departs this world - the impact of his acts continue for generations.  This is particularly true of a Torah scholar, who continues the chain of tradition and has many students; his impact may continually grow even for years after his soul ascends. 

 

But the same applies to a parent - the impact of his acts may become evident in the behavior of his children only years after his passing.  When the son is careful each year to improve his behavior through the repentance of fasting, and to sanctify God's name through saying kaddish - which causes the entire congregation to proclaim God's glory, then the parent's merit can continually grow (See chapter 26.)  So the observation of the yahrzeit can be an occasion for a new review of the parent's judgment and an additional elevation for the soul.