Honoring Others and Dignified Giving
Bein Adam Le-chavero:
Ethics of Interpersonal Conduct
By Rav
Binyamin Zimmerman
Shiur #10: Honoring Others and Dignified Giving
The Dual Nature of Kavod
In last week's lesson we began discussing
the principle of kevod ha-beriyot, the dignity with which we must treat
all human beings. Although certain individuals, such as one's parents or
teachers, are to be accorded extra honor, every individual deserves tremendous
respect. This is based on the concept of tzelem Elokim, the image of God,
in which every human is created, entitling everyone to near-godly treatment.
Indeed, this leads us to the principle of the greatness of man, fleshed out in
the teachings of the Slabodka school of musar.
The Basic Halakhic Parameters
As we saw in the previous lesson, the
Talmud (Berakhot 19a) states, Great is human dignity (kevod
ha-beriyot), as it overrides a prohibition in the Torah, but the exact
parameters are unclear. A simple reading of the passage seems to indicate that
human dignity may allow one to violate a rabbinical prohibition or to disregard
a biblical obligation that is monetary in nature or requires a certain action.
What about an active violation of a biblical prohibition? Some see this as a
dispute between the Talmud Bavli and the Talmud Yerushalmi; indeed, there are
some sources that argue that even the Bavli would suspend biblical prohibitions
for the sake of kevod ha-beriyot. (See Encyclopedia Talmudits
entry on this topic, particularly footnotes 103-107). However, there are others
who seem to view kevod ha-beriyot as an unavoidable consideration which
might compel one to violate certain laws, but one would still have to atone for
such a violation (Chavot Yair 236).
A second difficulty involves the
definition of the term kavod, honor, especially when many of the examples
brought in the Talmud are uncommon occurrences of great affronts to one's
personal dignity rather than mundane situations.
Furthermore, the Talmud Yerushalmi (Berakhot
3:1) refers to kevod ha-beriyot as kevod ha-rabbim, the honor of
the masses or of the public, a concept that is mentioned in the Talmud Bavli a
number of times as well. Does this affect its application?
The Talmud itself mentions an important
caveat: if maintaining one's dignity will cause an affront to the honor of God,
then the latter takes precedence. Thus, one must strike a balance between these
two considerations; sometimes, it is necessary to forgo one's own dignity in
this world and merit closeness to God in the next.
It is beyond the scope of this series to
deal with the halakhic ramifications of this principle. As the Rivash (Responsa,
# 226) states:
One cannot compare the various examples of
kevod ha-beriyot to each other, for if they allowed a kohen to
defile himself for the honor due to an unattended corpse or [allowed violations]
for the honor of the mourner or the king or the elder
one cannot compare the
various cases.
Indeed, HaRav Aharon Lichtenstein, in Kevod Ha-beriyot: Human Dignity in
Halakha
(available at:
www.vbm-torah.org/archive/halak63/01kavod.rtf),
notes that kevod ha-beriyot is often intentionally omitted as the
justification for halakhic rulings because of the potential for abuse; one might
start to apply it on a wholesale level, without any limitation. Still, the
Talmudic invocation of greatness cannot be ignored, and it should inform all
manners of personal conduct, from ones hygiene to interactions with others to
the idea of human rights.
It is this message on which we will focus,
from the statements of our Sages to the expositions of contemporary thinkers.
Maintaining Others' Dignity in Trying Situations
Halakha's willingness to suspend
commandments for the sake of kevod ha-beriyot may be especially relevant
for those in positions of authority: a boss must not view his or her position as
an indication of superiority. Sometimes, unfortunately, a promotion may change
the way one relates to others. The principle of kevod ha-beriyot requires
that even when one feels the weight of responsibility in a managerial position
even when one must do something unpleasant, like correcting workers,
reprimanding them or even letting them go the human dignity of the others must
be respected.
The Torah does not mandate going out of
ones way to avoid embarrassing another only; it specifically requires showing
proactive appreciation and concern. The Chinnukh notes that the mitzva of
providing a bonus at the completion of a term of service is not limited to the
Jewish servant. Devarim 15:14 states:
You shall supply him liberally out of your
flock and out of your threshing floor and out of your wine press; with what Lord
your God has blessed you, you shall give him.
The Chinukh (Mitzva 482) seems to view
this as a general directive:
At the root of the precept lies the
purpose that we should acquire in ourselves noble, precious, cherished traits of
character; and with a precious, noble spirit we will merit to attain good
reward, as the beneficent God desires to do good for His people. It is our
splendor and glory that we should have compassion on a person who has served us
and that we should give him of what we own as an act of loving-kindness, apart
from what we have stipulated with him to give him as wages. It is something
understandable by intelligence, and there is no need to continue at length about
it.
Thus, according to the Chinnukh, an
employer must recognize and reward the workers in all they do. This is merely a
small part of kevod ha-beriyot.
The Dignity of Honoring Others
Disrespecting others has many terrible
consequences, but the Mishna (Avot 4:1) takes the affirmative view: one's
concern for the honor of others is the defining element of honorableness, as Ben
Zoma succinctly puts it:
Who is honored? He who honors others, as
it is said: For those who honor Me I will honor, and those who scorn Me shall
be degraded (I Shemuel 2:30).
The Tiferet Yisrael explains simply:
When one honors his fellow man because he
is created in God's image, one is in essence honoring God. Therefore, God will
bestow honor upon this individual, as his own godliness will shine, causing
others to honor him.
Rabbeinu Yona adds that honoring others
does not provide them with anything, as they are either worthy of the honor or
not. However, honoring another allows the one showing the honor to express
honorable behavior; thus, one imitates God, Who created the whole world for His
glory yet provides honor to all of mankind.
Rashi explains that the Mishna is
essentially teaching one how to be honored by Heaven, as ones sensitivity to
human dignity causes God to provide the same concern for ones own dignity.
The Midrash (Shemot Rabba 8:1)
explains that this practice of God, providing honor to others, is the origin of
a famous title:
Why is the Holy One, Blessed be He,
referred to as: "the King of Honor" (Tehillim 24:7)? He dispenses honor
to those who fear him.
Great is human dignity is not a mere
aphorism; it is meant to influence our actions. The most significant of
mitzvot may be temporarily pushed aside in order to preserve ones dignity.
The Endless Pursuit of Honor
As important as human dignity is, one must
never pursue personal honor. The Mishna (ibid. 21) states:
Envy, desire and honor remove a man from the world.
While possessions are relatively easy to
amass, respect is elusive. Many people are driven by a bottomless appetite for
honor, and they are never satiated. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz states (Reb Chaim's
Discourses, p. 145):
The explanation for man's insatiable
conquest of honor lies in understanding the difference between the desire for
honor as opposed to physical desires. Someone who craves any of the physical
pleasures desires something that is real and exists. Therefore, when he has
enjoyed it, his hunger and desire are satiated, at least to the degree he enjoys
it, even if he obtains only a portion of it
Not so one who hungers for honor.
Honor itself is non-existent; it is only a figment of the imagination. There is
no tangible pleasure in honor. Its essence lies in the fact that by being
accorded it, one's fantasies and desires have been fulfilled. Therefore, if
anything is lacking in the fulfillment of one's dreams, then his hunger for
honor is not satiated at all, for he has essentially received nothing.
However, Rav Chaim (Sichot Musar,
ch. 82) also offers an interesting suggestion regarding how one's feelings of
entitlement can be channeled to better suit one's self and others. The more one
feels the desire to be honored, the more one may recognize how others may feel
the same way. If honoring others is the ticket to becoming an honorable
individual, the more one recognizes his or her personal need for honor, the more
one may focus on that need in others. Showing them honor actually allows one to
be an honorable individual, rather than being lost in the constant hunt for
honor. However, he adds an additional element to honoring others: one truly
fulfills the obligation only after finding a trait in another worth honoring
whether the other is a parent, rebbe or any individual. This approach
allows one to accord honor to others in a real and meaningful manner.
One should also find within oneself a
trait worthy of honor. The Rambam (Hilkhot De'ot 3:1) cautions against
living an undignified existence:
A person might say, "Since envy, desire,
honor, and the like support a wrong path and drive a person from the world, I
shall separate from them to a very great degree and move away from them to the
opposite extreme." For example, one might not eat meat; nor drink wine; nor live
in a pleasant home; nor wear fine clothing, just sackcloth, coarse wool and the
like, as the pagan priests do. This, too, is a bad path and it is forbidden to
walk upon it. Whoever follows this path is called a sinner
Although one should not be driven by
honor, one should recognize that an honorable attitude and feeling of self-worth
are essential in order to act honorably. Although it would seem to be a
difficult balancing act, Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz (Sichot Musar, ch. 28)
explains how this attitude is an essential aspect of the religious personality
and the mission of fulfilling Gods word. Understanding one's worth allows one
to stand up to those doubting the significance of spiritual pursuits and to
embrace ones tzelem Elokim.
The Jewish Calling to Find the Divine in the Other
In The Dignity of Difference: How to
Avoid the Clash of Civilizations (p. 208), Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explains how
finding dignity in others is a religious imperative:
The question is: To what
extent will we see our present interconnectedness as a threat or a challenge? As
the work of man, or as a call from God to a greater humanity, as well as to a
greater self-restraint? As for me, I believe that we are being summoned by God
to see in the human other a trace of the divine Other. The test so lamentably
failed by the great powers of the twentieth century is to see the divine
presence in the face of a stranger; to heed the cry of those who are
disempowered in this age of unprecedented powers; who are hungry and poor and
ignorant and uneducated, whose human potential is being denied the chance to be
expressed. That is the faith of Abraham and Sarah, from whom the great faiths,
Judaism, Christianity and Islam, trace their spiritual or actual ancestry. That
is the faith of one who, though he called himself but dust and ashes, asked of
God himself, 'Shall the judge of all the earth not do justice?' We are not gods,
but we are summoned by God to do His work of love and justice and compassion
and peace
This is not only a duty; it is the basis
of the concept of human rights. Rav Ahron Soloveichik (Logic of the Heart,
Logic of the Mind, p. 62) argues:
This key concept of kvod habriyos,
the dignity of all human beings, constitutes the basis of human rights. The
maxim of "Man was endowed by his Creator with certain inalienable rights" was
not an innovation of the founders of the American republic. These men were
impressed with the doctrine of human rights which flows naturally from the
concept of "the dignity of man" and the "image of God in which He created Man,"
as they knew from their Biblical background.
Rav Ahron Soloveichik adds (op. cit.
p. 64). that there is still a distinction between the secular doctrine of human
rights and the religious teaching. Judaism concerns itself not only with the
rights of man, but with man's duties to espouse the doctrine of tzedek
u-mishpat (see Psalms 89:15): "In modern society, assaulting a person is a
crime but failure to save a human life is not. Civil law finds it inconceivable
that a person should have the right to demand help and generosity from another.
The Torah's concept of Tzedek, however, gives the person the right to
demand aid."
The Kedusha Element:
Rav Aharon Lichtenstein notes that Rav
Joseph B. Soloveitchik would always emphasize that while the Western tradition
customarily speaks of "the dignity of man," we speak of "the sanctity of man." Rav Lichtenstein adds:
The dimension of sanctity is the basis and
foundation of our conception, and the "dignity" is integrally connected to it.
By that token, our concern for kevod ha-beriyot is not just an obligation
towards others or ourselves, but also an obligation towards the Almighty. When man is viewed as a divine
creature, then our perception of reality changes.
This brings us back to the directive of Kedoshim
tihyu, You shall be holy (Vayikra 19:2). The Midrash (Vayikra
Rabba 24:9) states:
You shall be holy I might think that
this means holy as God Himself is holy; therefore it says:
"For I am holy" My holiness is superior to yours.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz questions the
supposition here: isn't the comparison unfathomable? He explains that only the
Sages, who appreciate the vastness of the human ability, could raise the
possibility of comparing oneself to God, requiring an explanatory clause in the
verse. Nevertheless, the distinction is not due to man's lowly status, but
rather Gods exaltedness. He concludes (Reb Chaim's Discourses, p. 243):
This then is the true stature of a human
being, created in the image of God, with the ability to scale heights beyond our
conception. It is this loftiness which obligates us to the extreme of kevod
ha-beriyot.
The Mitzvot of Kedoshim Tihyu
With this understanding of the importance
of Judaism's perspective regarding the sanctity of human dignity, let's take a
look back at Vayikra 19. The chapter delineates a number of mitzvot,
starting with revering one's parents (as discussed in previous lessons). After
continuing with a number of mitzvot related to serving God and no other,
the Torah then lists a number of interpersonal mitzvot, primarily
prohibitions. Many mitzvot in the list are very familiar to us, including
the prohibitions of robbery, cheating a worker and the like. However, before
these laws, in vv. 9-10, the Torah requires that we set aside a portion of the
harvest for the poor. This indicates that the poor should never be deprived of
their dignity. A person should not have to solicit funds, as a place in every
landowner's field should be set aside for the needy. The first of these
agricultural mitzvot is that of leaving the corner of the field
unharvested; this allows easy access and reduces the discomfort of entering
another's field to get food.
The Torah recognizes that pauper has not
only physical and economic needs, but emotional ones as well. The indignity of
being dependent on others, the loss of pride when asking others for ones basic
needs, is the psychological dimension which this mitzva seeks to ameliorate.
Does the Torah endorse a welfare state? It
clearly recognizes that the poor will always be with us (Devarim 15:11),
but it still argues that their dignity must be preserved in every way possible.
The formulation in Kedoshim, When
you reap your lands harvest, in the plural, makes everyone a co-owner of the
property. Mutuality is the key to the Torahs attitude to charity.
It is not for naught that Rut, the mother
of royalty and ancestor of King David, who accompanies her mother-in-law Naomi
back to Israel after the death of her husband and the rest of Naomi's family,
enters into the fields of the wealthy scholar Boaz, her eventual mate, via these
mitzvot. The Davidic dynasty is the result of this relationship. The most
unfortunate member of society, the poor girl lacking a family, is able not only
to partake of the bounty of the field of the wealthy through these gifts, but
even to be noticed and appreciated. This is the call of holiness in providing
for others.
In our next lesson, we will see how these
mitzvot provide a roadmap for charitable giving and, ultimately, a
sanctified life.
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